Mrs T’s guide to motherhood
As some of you might know I’m a mother of two; a four-year old boy and an eleven month old daughter. My best friend of twenty years is having her baby this week, she is expecting her first child. I was thinking about all the things I had wished I had known before I became a mother. I had probably already been told these things before I had baby number one, but like every first time mother I blissfully ignored most of it as I thought ‘I will be different, I have this covered’. How wrong I was; if naivety could be measured I would have been up for an award for it, I was unprepared in epic proportions to what was ahead of me. So, with that being said I thought it would be nice to write my own advice on motherhood; but with a makeup twist.
You will mess up a lot and sometimes you will have gargantuan fails that you think you will never escape; but you WILL get through it and brighter times will overshadow them.
It’s exactly like eyeliner; it takes practice and patience, some days you look like a winged goddess and other days you look like an extra from a film about pandas. I have made so many mistakes as a mum, I still do; like snapping at my kids when I am stressed or giving them too many sweets or teaching them the lyrics to ‘You’re the one for me fatty’ by Morrissey (that’s probably just me then). I haven’t been fully concentrating and my kids have got into bother, I have crayon all over my sons wall and my house looks like a pig sty but guess what; some times I get it epically right. My son is generally good at school and he tells me he loves me and I’m funny, he knows he is loved and cared for and that his mummy works hard for him and expects him to try his best, just like I am.
Do not try and keep up with the Jones.
When I post my makeup looks onto Instagram or Facebook I sometimes get disheartened because other people were more talented than me, they got more likes, or they are more beautiful and it is hard not to compare yourself. You are striving for an impossible dream; yes, you can get better and improve but someone else will always come along and be better (or use filters/airbrushing but don’t get me started). I try my best but I am not the perfect mother and many mothers have things sorted a whole lot better than I do but I figure as long as I do my best and keep improving myself as a mum then I do not need to compare myself to mums who can get their child to eat their vegetables, never eat sweets and quote lines from Shakespeare at 4 years old. My children are not perfect, but neither am I; as long as they try hard to be the best they can be, then I am happy.
Don’t worry Mummy, things happen.
Things will get broken; your lipsticks might get raided or your eyeshadow palette might get dropped but that doesn’t matter. Things can be replaced if they break, but memories cannot. Make memories with your children; dance with them, play with them, just have a chat with them. You do not need the latest toys or gadgets to be a good mum, just your love and time. I would quite happily trade my whole makeup collection for my son giving me a hug and saying ‘Don’t worry mummy, things happen’ when I have had a bad day at work or he has ruined a load of my lippies and my daughter has chewed my clean makeup brushes. (both of which have happened). I used to get really upset when things got broke before I had kids, but now its a regular occurrence.
Your children WILL drive you up the wall, it’s their job.
My children drive me crazy the majority of the time; being a mum is a hard and often a thankless job. My son has learnt exactly how to push my buttons to wind me up, it is hard to not get annoyed or take it personally; I once cried when he refused to eat some peaches I had bought him after he told me he liked them, he is a fussy eater and I had just had enough. When my son doesn’t get his own way he tells me how angry he is with me. You could only liken it to the frustration of saving up for something for ages and then when you finally can get it, it being sold out everywhere or waiting up till 2am to buy a makeup release only for it to sell out in one minute. Children will push the boundaries but that’s all part of them growing up, just keep consistent.
Things don’t have to be perfect to be perfect
Whether it is your house, the children’s toys or your own makeup, perfection is a subjective concept. Don’t buy into the myth that happiness is all about having everything perfect, it’s about having everyone perfectly happy. As long as my children are happy I don’t care if they get dirty or their house is a mess, if they are happy, I am happy. My son especially likes playing with cardboard boxes as opposed to all his toys that we spent loads on. Rich or poor, young or old, just have fun and laugh with them, the time will fly by.
Like everything in life, just be yourself and do your best and remember life is for living.
What advice would you give new mums, let me know in the comments? Ciao for now makeup fans xx