This is not strictly a makeup related post; although the look I created inspired me to write this.
I like to play the fool; I have a very strange and wacky sense of humour that means I like to do things to lighten the mood that is not always everyone’s cup of tea (or coffee if that is your poison). I like to stay on the positive side of things and not take things too seriously, call me naive but I am at my most happiest when acting like a child and embrace my inner child as part of my personality. There have been times when other people have tried to silence this side of myself; teachers, friends and ex’s etc. have sort to change this part of my personality by either acting like I am wrong for being this way or by belittling me about it.
I spent quite a few years trying to hide this side of myself through fear of rejection, changing myself to suit the need of others. I hear the words ‘act normal’, ‘you’re weird’ or being given condescending looks like I have just committed a crime (when in fact I was just dancing in the middle of the street). Let me ask you a question though; what exactly is normal? These words like normal and weird get banded about in conversation a lot without any real regard. When someone says ‘it’s not normal to wear a lot of makeup’, or ‘it’s weird not wearing any makeup’ we are setting ourselves up for impossible situations. Why should anybody be expected to act like anything other than themselves; why should we be made to feel like we should ‘fit in’? The idea of changing yourself just to please other people seems like trying to get a square peg in a round whole, impossible to actually achieve, and if you by some miracle do achieve it, it just doesn’t feel comfortable.
There have been times when my childish and playful personality has got me into hot water so to speak; I have inserted my foot into my mouth on many occasion and have even lost friends because of it, do I regret this, yes I do. On reflection though, if people can’t accept me for being me and occasionally saying or doing the wrong thing (because after all, we are all human and make mistakes) then maybe I am best without those people in my life. I am fortunate enough to have an amazing husband who is just as crazy as me; he is my partner in mayhem and he has never expected me to change anything about myself (although he did guilt trip me into learning to drive, if that counts). My two munchkin’s seem to be as mad as a box of frogs as I am and love ‘Silly Mummy’. I have some awesome friends that truly understand me and although we don’t get to see each other as often as we would like to we know we are always there for each other. I have also developed a merry band of online friends that have embraced and encouraged the weird side of my personality and let me shine brightly safe from rejection and scorn.
It may have taken a long time to realise it; but it is ok to play the class clown and still get things done. I have spent most of my life wanting to be different but never actually realising until recently that the person that I truly am is awesome and doesn’t need to change. Don’t get me wrong, I still need to learn from my mistakes when they arise, but I do not need to be ashamed of who I am; a bit of a clown.
I was challenged on one of the makeup groups to do a ‘April’s Fool’ look so I looked around and found a drag inspired clown look that I recreated. I was so happy with it as it really did test my makeup skills. I love doing challenges, they feed my creative side, let me express myself and learn new things. I would encourage anyone who has an interest in makeup to do themed challenges; I have learnt so much more about myself and makeup by doing them.
So, embrace who you are because you are flipping awesome; ciao for now makeup fans.