Today, I’m sat in a children’s play centre; coffee in hand, comfortable mum clothes on, hair pulled back in a classic ‘mum bun’ and I don’t have a scrap of makeup on. It feels quite liberating as I haven’t had many days where I haven’t worn makeup in the past couple of months; being a working mum means I’m trying to make myself look presentable for work and at the weekends when we go out to various places to keep the children busy.
Ready for a day of being mum
Flashback to two years ago, I did not own any makeup; I hadn’t spend the last 15 years never wearing makeup but at the time I had chucked all my old makeup out and did not really go anywhere to justify wearing it, plus I actually was not really that bothered with what I looked like.
That might have just been down to being comfortable with Mr T and knowing that he thought I was beautiful no matter what (obviously if I turned into a zombie he might not be too happy about it). I had been in the process of spending years trying to become a mum and then when we were finally blessed with our first born; coping with the changes of being a mummy.
It was actually trying to shift the baby weight that set me down the path of full blown makeup addict. I was going to the gym early mornings and going straight to work from there; I started just getting a shower and going, until I saw these strong confident women doing their hair and makeup in the changing room mirrors and thought ‘I could make an effort’ after all, now I was a mum, I felt that I had to become more presentable. Maybe I felt the pressure of all the other mums looking so well put together and maybe I feared I would embarrass my child through my appearance. I embarrass and wind him up on a daily basic but that is on purpose, an acceptable revenge on all the stress they bring; having fun embarrassing them with your behaviour.
This was at the start of my makeup journey
So there I was with a eyeshadow quad, a foundation, concealer and mascara from the Asda makeup range and that’s when the bug bit me. I was transported back to the days of being 18 and spending at least an hour on my makeup; rocking the blue eyeshadow (my favourite colour at the time), wearing a wing that Amy Winehouse would be proud of, wearing white eyeliner on my waterline, covering myself in as much shimmery highlighter possible so that I sparkled on the night club dance floor, in my blue sparkly dress and my Monica from ‘Friends’ style hair style (the 1990s had a lot to be responsible for). I was going through some form of ‘mummy midlife crisis’; I started watching YouTube tutorials and joining makeup groups on Facebook, I started to become addicted to Mac lipsticks and finding cheap drugstore dupes for them so I did not have to take the precious Mac ones out of the house because that would be a disaster. Then I rediscovered a long, lost love of mine; liquid eyeliner. There is something about a wing that makes me feel like I can take on the world; maybe due to the days of rocking a wing as a young adult.
My habit progressed rapidly; I wanted every new product I saw and envied peoples huge makeup collections, something that now, after a year and a half of being a makeup addict I have learnt to control more and question; do I need it, will I still need it in a few months time, am I giving into hype? I spent a lot of time experimenting and learning new things (blending, contouring, highlighting etc.). I started to grow out my 1990s style eyebrows and learning from the friends I have made on the lovely Queens of the new age #queensunite group on Facebook; that I didn’t need to give into hype, I didn’t need a huge makeup collection to look good and I did not need to replicate all the neutral smoky, blown out eyes and nude lips that was continually being cloned all over the internet, I didn’t need high end cosmetics to look good and could look beautiful with my own style of makeup; the #shadowqueen look.
The full blown shadowqueen look
So as I sit in this children’s play centre wanting yet another coffee with a vanilla shot in (that’s the only type of shot I do nowadays) without a scrap of makeup on, I am at the realisation that it doesn’t matter what you wear; whether you choose to spend all your time in full glam or sit in your PJ’s all day with a hairstyle that looks like a birds nest and last nights makeup smudged all over your face; you are still special; you are awesome and beautiful in your own special way because you are unique and makeup may be able to change the outward appearance but nothing will change the fact that there is only one of you and you bring beauty and individuality to the world and people around you. So shine bright like the star you know you are and as I said in a previous post; do what makes you feel good.
Ciao for now makeup fans Xx.