The Joneses have everything; a great house that is gloriously spotless, a nice car that is free from children’s food and general rubbish, a perfect job that they love and a perfect family that never cause any problems. They are of course beautiful as well, with the perfect smiles and good looks, they are the perfect family except for one small fact, they don’t exist.
So if they don’t exist, why do we feel the need to keep up with them? Comparing yourself to others is somewhat inevitable within our society we cannot help it. In a world where social media life and real life are two very different things, it’s hard not to get caught in the comparison trap.
The comparison trap is a hard one to break loose from.
The comparison trap is fuelled by feelings of inferiority that we have about ourselves. We are never quite good enough and therefore we compare ourselves to other people and their lives without necessarily knowing the full ins and outs of the story.
Having been on my favourite makeup group for just over a year now, I have come to realise how much I was comparing myself to others when I first joined. I looked up to these people as beautiful goddesses that had it all figured out, unlike me. They were thinner, better-looking and better mothers than me and just generally held it all together, being an adult better than I did.
As you can imagine this is not a healthy outlook to have and I fell into a dark hole of self-loathing. I could do nothing right in comparison to everyone else which started to overwhelm me. I was slipping back into the worrying shell of my former self, a person I recognised from the early years of motherhood.
Every child is different.
As a first-time mother, I was always comparing my son to other people’s children. He had a delay in his speech which meant he didn’t speak till later on. When we were celebrating him saying ‘car’ for the first time, other people’s children were able to quote Shakespeare.
It was disheartening, but guess what, he can now talk and doesn’t actually keep quiet now, my worrying was for nothing and proved the old saying that every child is different
If we are advised not to compare her children to others, then shouldn’t we advise ourselves not to compare ourselves to other people we see or meet? After getting to know those people in the makeup group that I idolised and thought were better than me; I realised that they had their own insecurities doubts and hang ups. I even found that some of them envied me, my confidence and my ability at playing the fool and lightening the situations as well as my eyeshadow blending skills.
The grass is still grass whether is green or not.
It’s exactly the same as with a car, the purpose of a car is to get you from A to B so it doesn’t matter whether it’s a rusting, scratched Punto or a nice shiny BMW, it still does the job. We are all human and whether you have your own scratches and dents or a nice shiny paint job you are still doing the same thing, journeying through life, so why compare? You are your own beautiful tapestry of talents, skills wonder.
It doesn’t matter whether your handbag is made by Gucci or Primark, your eyeshadows are by makeup Revolution or Anastasia Beverly Hills, you have a full pout and ample assets or thin lips and no hips; not even Mrs Jones can replicate the wonderful being that is you. Go out and celebrate yourself for being the awesome person that you are because when you compare yourself to somebody else there is somebody else is probably comparing themselves to you.
Ciao for now my beauties xx